Necessities ...

My mother was watching the Spanish version of Judge Judy last night. She got all fired up when the case has something to do with a father wanting to leave the mother because the three kids did not have their own bedrooms in their home. This through my mom into a tizzy.

She was raised poor. Like, dirt poor. Her mother would get hole-filled socks from the soldiers at the "Castelo" and use just the like tube part of the socks to sew all together to make a blanket for my Mom and my aunts. She tells stories of how they would have to wash their clothes every day to hang it out to dry to be ready for the next day of school. Can you imagine? Wearing the same thing everyday to school because you really don't have anything else?

The court case on the Spanish channel got her talking about the fact that the house in which she grew up only had one bedroom. I know this because we visited the house when we went to Terceira with my parents in '87. I remember wondering how 6 girls and the parents all slept in that house. I think I might've asked that question, but I didn't really pay attention to the answer. I was only 13, and there were far more important things (like chasing chickens) to be done.

Last night she told the story that her parents would sleep in one bed, and then 4 of the sisters would sleep in another bed - three laying side-by-side and the fourth laying across the foot of the bed. My mother would go sleep at an aunt's house, and my other aunt was not living with them at the time (she was much older) and was staying at yet another relatives. She said though that it didn't seem to bother them. Something about such closeness probably made it nice to sleep. Their mattress though was not something like we have today. It was hay, wrapped with a sheet. But, they were ok. They were all ok. And they were close. As close as they could be.

She went on a rant that the guy on the TV was crazy. That kids don't need all the junk that they're given today. What they need is to be raised by parents that care, and that love them. They don't need the latest gadgets and toys.

Got me thinking about my own upbringing. We didn't have the latest anything. My Mom made our clothes. (My brother and I have so many pictures of matching outfits it's crazy.) But looking back, I wouldn't have had it any other way. Because what we did have was parents that love us. Sure, they were tough and strict. But it's because they wanted us to be raised to be productive and responsible adults, so they were parents - not friends (there's a huge difference). Honestly though, I don't remember what DIDN'T have, I only remember that my Dad would be the first person outside to play in the puddles during summer rain, that my Mom would have a cooler packed to go to Goddard Park as soon as my Dad got home from work, and that my parents, in their own way, encouraged my sense of spirit and self.

I think my Mom remembers her upbringing similarly - it's not about the things you didn't have, but more about the treasured moments.